Family Jewels

Brian has had some "discomfort" in his testicle area for a while. Finally, he said to me "make an appt cause I will just keep putting it off" So I did. I made it for the next day. He went to the appointment and had the jewels looked at. Dr said she didn't feel a hernia but wanted him to go for an ultrasound. Since he works at a hospital, he wanted it done at a different hospital. I understand that. The Dr said to get the ultrasound the next day. This is day 6 and he still hasn't had the ultrasound. I googled testicular ultrasound and there are many things they could be looking for. The most serious is testicular cancer. I hounded him for the first 3 days and I have been told that this is "my problem not our problem, so let me handle it." I wonder how long he will let it go.

so we started marriage counseling

I dont know if it will help. He says he feels dead inside when he thinks of us. Not love, not hate just nothing. How do you recover from that? How can I still love him so much and he feels absolutely nothing for me?

Do I fight for our marriage or prepare for it to end? I don't know what to do.

How will my children handle this?

Why am I crying again?