Anniversary

I was working. Brian was in motorcycle class. Then he was sore and tired. Kids even spent the night at gmas.

Here is his bike.

He took it out today for the first time. He was only gone for about 10 minutes.

weight loss and other things

I've lost 10 lbs. Its not much but a start I am sad right now and I am writing this instead of going into the kitchen to start a marathon cooking and eating session.

Brian bought his motorcycle Saturday. I foolishly thought that things would be different once he had it. But they aren't he is still thinking about the bike 100% of the time. The kids and I, especially me, are being neglected. I hope it is because he is preoccupied with the bike. I hope its nothing else. I have to think other things are going on because what couple goes 4 months?

I can't think that it will eat me up. He is just tired from working at night but he has worked nights for 8 years.

Maybe I will just give up

home from work

Work wasn't to bad today. Was home by 5:15. We had dinner of fried salmon patties, mac and cheese and black eye peas. That comes to less than $3.00 to feed a family of 5 or 60 cents a person. That is nice.
Tomorrow is the start of school for the kids. I was looking forward to being home alone to to clean, do homework, watch tv. Well, my grandmother called to see if I can take her to the Dr tomorrow. UGH. I don't mind taking her and if I had known I was taking her I wouldn't had made plans of being ALONE. Nothing lost I guess except my dream for tomorrow and one day she won't be here and I will miss taking her to the Dr. so I will take her and enjoy the time with her. I wonder how many places she will want to go before we go back home.

Nancy

Kids start school tomorrow

I am so excited for them they all need the break from each other.

I talked to my friend, Tammy, last night. It was great to talk to her although we didnt have long enough. Corey wanted to go to bed and I fell asleep.

The kids are having a dress reherasal for school today. They are getting up like today is the 1st day of school getting dressed and eating breakfast trying to be ready by time the bus comes.

Tomorrow I have so much I want to get done. I need to install my keyboarding class on the laptop since my desktop is dead. I want to premake breakfasts (muffins, pancakes, french toast) for the freezer so that is one last thing on my to do list every morning. I have a test in my accounting class I need to take. I will probably do that tonight after the boys go to bed.

I am trying to FLY again. I am taking babysteps. My life is so full I need to figure out how to clean my house and not live in CHAOS. 1 day at a time. If I mess up no big deal, I just start over with the next day or hour. Anything I do is better than what I was doing before.

Nancy

School and stuff

I am in school. I am trying to get my AAS in Accounting. I don't know if I will make it. I love school and I love doing something just for me, but it's hard on the family. Noone complains but I can tell. Next quarter will be even harder as I am going to attempt 4 classes in the same quarter. 4 classes, working part time, and managing a household with 3 kids a dog and a cat will be fun.

Brian is buying a motorcycle. I am not sure really how I feel about that. I am glad for him, I want him to be able to do things that he loves or wants to try in this case. But I don't want him to die. That scares me.

My kids have 1 more week of summer. School starts August 11th. Katie will be a junior and Kyle a 3rd grader and Corey a 2nd grader. We have heard from Corey's teacher but that is all. I hope he does well this year. This is probably his last year in Regular Ed. I want him to succeed where ever he is but I am scared of putting him in the autism program. I want him to be pushed to do the best he can not just get by.

I realized that I have no friends. That is hard to say. I don't have anyone that I can call to talk to if I need to let off steam. No one calls me to let off steam either. My cousin that I grew up with is screwing up her life and won't listen to anyone. I send her messages or call her but she never returns my calls. My friends are my grandmother and my daughter. Can't really talk to them about everything can I? I reach out to people but noone ever calls me back. I guess I am not a lovable person.

I am not even sure why I am writing this blog. It's not like anyone reads it since I write in it so seldom.

I guess I just needed to "talk" to someone tonight.